I’ve been thinking about my days, and about time. And how the time and the experiences in my day seem to speed by and run around me at a frantic pace. There are chores to be done, schedules to adhere to, and two daughters wanting and asking for different things. There are phone calls and emails, and tasks on my to-do list.
At the end of the girls’ day, I sometimes thoroughly enjoy bedtime and all of the parts of it- teeth brushing, family prayer, listening to Talia read, reading to both girls, Talia’s prayer, Katrina’s prayer, tucking them in, singing to them, scratching their backs, and sometimes even putting Katrina back into bed (several times).
Some nights I soak it all in with a sentimental joy. Sometimes I hurry through it, feeling that their sleep couldn’t come fast enough- that their sleep will equal my peace. But regardless of how close I am to the end of my “mommy rope” while I’m experiencing their “bedtime”, I always face the same experience after they are asleep:
I get my peace. I get my silence. I breathe. I quietly open their door and peek into their room to see their sweet little angelic faces sleeping peacefully and beautifully. And my heart just ACHES.
Ironically, it seems that it is aching for moments before, when they were still awake, and for hours before when that day and those girls were swirling around me. And I wish so hard that I could put myself back into the middle of the day and somehow SLOW DOWN. Slow the DAY down. Slow the girls down… slow ME down. Just freeze it. Just stop everything and ENJOY it. Do you feel this?
Those moments do happen. They are magical. They are the moments when everything around me stops and I am suddenly so aware and present in a moment; when I fully and truly soak a moment in and enjoy BEing… in my life, as a mother, with my girls.
I’ve thought about this several nights in a row and I keep asking myself what I can do differently during the day to stop it from speeding by me. I have heard so many mothers speak about how they miss the time when their children were young. How it speeds by so quickly. How those of us who are IN it, ought to enjoy it. I have such strong feelings of wanting to soak it all up and not have regrets.
Do you experience this? (or if you’re past this stage of parenthood, did you?)
What do you do to try and enjoy the moments more?
I would love to hear your thoughts on this.