Enjoy

There is a trend going around Mommy Blogs where you choose a word of the year- sort of like a New Year's resolution, but it's just one word that you want to focus on that year.

At the beginning of the year I decided to choose one and I decided that the word that represented most what I wanted to work on or improve in my life this year is "enjoy".

Because I often tear up at the thought of looking back on this stage of my life and having regrets.

I have these moments of clarity when I can see so clearly what I need to be doing and thinking and feeling as a mother at this stage in my life and then I cry because of all of the moments that have passed already that I should have enjoyed fully but didn't and because of all of the moments in the future that I won't fully enjoy.

I want so so badly to just treasure and savour each moment of this Mommy life.
I need to enjoy it.
It speeds by so quickly and I can hardly bear to think of the time in the future when it will be gone.

So, I'm trying to remind myself to enjoy what's happening in my life now (now as in this stage of my life and now as in this exact moment of the day) - not to rush through any of the little 'boring' tasks in my day, but to slow down & enjoy them and experience them with my children and through their eyes as much as possible.

I want them to look back on a present mother.
I want them to know that I enjoy being with them.
And I want to enjoy them during this time before this stage has passed.